Stuck on the Annapurna Circuit

I have been thinking about what to write about the Annapurna Circuit for weeks now, and I can’t think of anything to say. I have started this post many times, with varying results, but most end up with some variation of my inner drama queen (or would that be drama king?) throwing down my notebook and saying “I just can’t do it!” This isn’t writers block or anything like that (you need to be a writer before you can be blocked), my mind simply can’t fully comprehend what the trek was like or put it into proper perspective right now.

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

How and I supposed to put this into words, let alone describe how it makes me feel?

Before Kim and I began the trek, ideas of all the posts I would write about floated through my head. I wanted to tell my Sasquatchians what it was like for me to spend three weeks in the mountains (too good for words), what it felt like to be at 17,800 feet of altitude (loopy, in a good way), how my dal bhat diet went (it only lasted 9 days) – all of the experiences. I even wrote a post about how excited I was to set out to go hiking.

But every time I have sat down to put these things into words, my mind goes into a blank, zen-like state and only one thought emerges through the forest of my mind:

I want to go back.

That’s it. The only thing I can think about is that I want to go back and hike the Annapurna Circuit again.

I think that the Annapurnas are, literally and figuratively, too big for me to write about. It’s like my brain, knowing it doesn’t have the capacity to capture the mountains in words, just short circuits and sends me down happy-memory lane.

My mind is stuck on a loop that goes something like this: hmm, what should I say about hiking the Annapurna Circuit?…(crickets chirping)…Oh my god, it was amazing! I loved it! I want to go back and hike it again. Remember the mani stones, and all the views, and Marpha, and…wait – what am I going to write about the Circuit?…(more crickets)… Oh my god, it was amazing!…

Every time I sit down and try to write about it, this loop plays in my head over and over. Visions of mountains, prayer flags, waterfalls, and villages fill my mind as my eyes glaze over and I relive bits and pieces of the three weeks.

Here is my mental loop in pictures:

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

During our time in Pokhara, we met up with Adrian and Ashley of The Beautiful Occupation. They were heading out to hike the circuit shortly after we finished. The day that Kim and I impulse-bought our tickets to Bali, we ran into them on the street. They had seen on Facebook that we purchased the tickets and were excited for us to travel to Bali. I was excited too, but all I could think was I am jealous of you two – you get to go hike the Circuit!

That was when I realized I was really stuck. I mean, I have Bali to look forward to – the island of the gods! The place that people say the word ‘paradise’ was created to describe! – and I was moping about like a pouty kid who wanted a second piece of cake.

Hiking the Annapurna circuit

Please sir, can I have another?

Maybe, more than anything else, wanting only to go back and hike the Annapurna Circuit again can express just how wonderful the experience was for me. Hopefully, after some more time, after all my thoughts and emotions have had time to sort themselves out, I will be able to write about it more comprehensively. That is assuming, of course, that I don’t go crazy thinking about Yetis and baby cows.

All I know right now is: I will go back.

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Author: Brian

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